Thursday, October 15, 2015

Thursday- Thankful Thursday

Thursday- thankful Thursday
This is my tradition and this is what I am today- Thankful.

It has been a tough week for my big girl to start her final high school leaving exams (HSC) as My baby girl had her LP and has had quite significant complications (she developed a blood clot on her spine & couldn't walk & was in extreme pain requiring almost a week of opiate analgesia)  

My mummy heart went from worry to terror in a few hours and now I am taking time to breathe -& be thankful.

My mind ran away with me last night and it took me to the scary parts of my mummy brain that looks forward and worries- you know that part of the mummy brain that goes "what if" and oh my could I think of some ultimately terrifying "what ifs"!  But then I actively had to take those thoughts and STOP!- stop the runaway train of fear and bring it back to now- right now! ... and I struggled so hard to know how to do that- I looked about and started at the simple- the thankful.

It hurt.

It Hurt because each "thank you" also had a "please", It was like the waves on the beach and so I paddled on. Allowing the waves of please and thanks to wash on and soon I was able to lay down  a small bit of the burden that has been busy on my brain since the surgery and the fear began.

Ultimately it was good -out of my sad, scary and dark reality came something good- & for that I am thankful.

I have another please and thank you to add to Thursday- thank you for visiting here today & please feel free to comment or message me if you are struggling and need a buddy if you are doing it tough- we can paddle together xx

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